Random Rambles : Shy Influencer? Overcoming it? ‘Reality’ of Blogging?

Hi guys,

This post is totally different from what I have done till now, I always stick to makeup/outfits and very rarely I do post about my personal life. I did when I got engaged, married and had met with an accident. Life has been routine pretty much, but I was just wondering how much I have grown and just wanted to share some random personal thoughts on my mind.

It’s difficult for people to believe that you are a shy/introvert person when you are a social media influencer/blogger/YouTuber as in most cases, it’s the opposite 😀

I saw Jordynn from Colourpop mention once on how all the international Youtubers they meet for the first time, are very shy. So it’s a usual phenomena because sitting in one room and recording alone is very different than going out and actually meeting people. The same goes for bloggers, as they just sit and write about their experience. Though it’s different for the new age influencers who start with Instagram/Musical.ly and likes, as they are young millenials and love interacting and meeting new people. It’s all about videos these days, and most of them are outgoing extroverts.

I am a very shy person and quiet in general, I don’t talk much even with family and friends. I have always been quiet, and when I was studying alone whole day for CA exams, etc., I was just with my books for 80-85% of my day. Even now I am pretty much all alone through the day, except when hubby or house help at home, or I am talking on the phone (which again hardly lasts 1-2 mins). Maybe it all added up and I became quieter in life.

Now how difficult is it to become an influencer if you are an introvert? It is surely difficult, you have to overcome your shyness and do many things out of your comfort zone almost on a daily basis. You attend events, meet people, network and socialize, even that is difficult when you are just shy in general. It’s all awkward initially, I remember my first 2-3 events and it was difficult even conversing with people and I used to hardly talk. I am more of a spectator at events, though I have improved a lot and overcome most of my shyness in the past few years. I still only talk more with people I am comfortable with and know since a long time. I still can’t talk to new people 😀

Certain campaigns require you to do certain things, and if you are not this over the top happy and goofy/excited person all the time (totally not me), it’s difficult to act like that and your work won’t get approved till you show that enthusiasm, especially for video campaigns. It requires multiple takes and approvals in that case!

Also if you have met me during meet and greets or even generally, you must have noticed that I don’t talk much or am not that ‘excited all the time’ person. I am not snobbish, but I just can’t talk and take forever to open up.

I have grown so much and overcome a lot of my fears/shyness. I experiment with shoots, outfits, and feel like doing so much more. I used to only work with Sneha from Rhythmic Focus and was very comfortable with her, even she has seen me grow and the change in me from what I was 2-3 years ago. I couldn’t even pose back then, and I still feel awkward in public places but I really admire the young influencers I see around and get inspired by them. I am open to learning and change, and improve things. I have also started working with other photographers who wanted to collaborate with me, as it was a good opportunity to break out of my comfort zone. It also helped me understand what angles/poses work for me.

The more work you do, the more you experiment, the more confident you become. I started YouTube around 3-4 years ago and even though I am far from pro at it, I have come a long way and can face cameras confidently now. My initial few videos I was very shy and conscious, I was awkward at events where they required video bytes. Now I am always ready for any video bytes and don’t think twice 😀 Blogging, Reading, YouTube and making videos has also helped me a lot in the way I write, speak and converse, I have become so confident overall and I can see my growth from 2010 to now.

I was quite naive initially and even till 2-3 years ago I was gullible and people have used me at many instances. I have worked for free, have adjusted and compromised many times, shared my own pictures and work with people, covered events for someone else, have helped people with hashtags, handles and what not because they are too dumb to remember or even know the spellings, even after sharing multiple times!

I have gone out of my way to help people and continued doing it almost 6-7 years. I have learned to say ‘NO’ now, there comes a point when you realize it’s enough and you have to take a stand for yourself. You don’t want to be used anymore! The very same people vanished after that 😀 Haha, isn’t that obvious? Because they don’t have any benefit being friends with you now!

I have met so many new bloggers who are very warm and friendly. You can find out how a person is when you meet them often and talk to them, see how they behave and how they are online. Of course there are many living a dual life and fake it online, they don’t want people to know their reality! I have seen so much in these 8-8.5 years, people are completely different online or once when you shoot/record and offline once the recording stops. Some are here just for the money and there is so much jealousy and negativity, it gets on you at times.

There are Instagram pods where a group of bloggers like and comment on each other’s pictures. There are many such pods in India too, but I never participated in them. I have seen the very same bloggers who write amazing things on each other’s pictures bitch about them behind! I can’t handle this hypocrisy or being dual faced, it’s my pet peeve. I like and comment when I feel like or I genuinely love the picture/person.

There is this thing about liking and commenting on each other’s pictures, even without a pod. Like bloggers would like and comment only if you do the same on their pictures. It’s like ‘you scratch my back, I scratch yours’ funda and I don’t really get it. I like so many pictures on a daily, not just bloggers, but so many followers and random accounts too. If I like the picture, I heart it. Why the unnecessary drama?!

You may have ‘friends’ in this blogging world, but you are truly on your own, like in every industry! Some people are friends with each other, only because they like each other’s pictures or shoot for each other. No one is friends here without any benefit. Some are on and off friends and make fun of the so called ‘friend’ and bitch about them, when off. Until they are friends again! Some try to spread negativity about you, or want to take advantage of the situation. Everyone knows everything, but they just don’t talk about it, like in any glamour industry. I would just say ‘Don’t be fooled by what you see online’ and ‘Don’t follow anyone blindly’. Take everything with a pinch of salt. Nothing surprises me anymore in this blogging world, as I have literally seen it all. And from what I have heard, it’s not restricted to beauty and fashion blogging, but in all genres.

I have always believed in ‘Live and Let Live’ and ‘To Each His Own’, so whatever works for you. I stay away from all of this and just do my own work. I wanted to write down my thoughts as my mind was cluttered with many things.

Coming to the pics, I had this bath tub theme in my mind since a long time and when I finally got this opportunity, we decided to shoot it. It feels amazing when you think of a concept, and the outcome is very similar to how you imagined it.

I am pretty happy with how it turned out, let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

Location: Sahara Star
Shot by: Sneha (Rhythmic Focus)